Comments for sexagenarian and the city http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com a babyboomer's adventures with jewish gentlemen in the new york dating scene Sun, 20 Jul 2008 16:29:38 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=MU Comment on part 2 of ‘post from a wedding weekend’ by sexagenarian07 http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/2008/07/15/part-2-of-post-from-a-wedding-weekend/#comment-7791 sexagenarian07 Tue, 15 Jul 2008 03:54:19 +0000 http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/?p=486#comment-7791 PT, you're right on both counts: no way is he as 'thoughtful' as i am. so yes, he was not thinking carefully & precisely about whether we'd still be together in october '09. and yes also to the 'i love you' comment, though as to yr example -- saying 'i love you' in 'times of trouble,' that too, of course, can be 'momentary.' fortunately my response was not to feel loved but to feel analytic. PT, you’re right on both counts: no way is he as ‘thoughtful’ as i am. so yes, he was not thinking carefully & precisely about whether we’d still be together in october ‘09.
and yes also to the ‘i love you’ comment, though as to yr example — saying ‘i love you’ in ‘times of trouble,’ that too, of course, can be ‘momentary.’ fortunately my response was not to feel loved but to feel analytic.

]]> Comment on part 2 of ‘post from a wedding weekend’ by sexagenarian07 http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/2008/07/15/part-2-of-post-from-a-wedding-weekend/#comment-7790 sexagenarian07 Tue, 15 Jul 2008 03:49:28 +0000 http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/?p=486#comment-7790 yes, you're right: he's exhausting. the phrase that came to my mind and that i meant to put in the post, and that i may add somewhere, sometime, is this: Plan C is a handful. he really is. and i, too, have wondered what he's talking about w. his therapist, or if she's leading him to any useful insights. i have no idea. i've been treating their conversations as off-limits. perhaps when we have The Talk, i.e. the final talk, he'll mention his therapy. at any rate, i haven't noticed any significant changes in his modus operandi. yes, you’re right: he’s exhausting. the phrase that came to my mind and that i meant to put in the post, and that i may add somewhere, sometime, is this:

Plan C is a handful.

he really is.

and i, too, have wondered what he’s talking about w. his therapist, or if she’s leading him to any useful insights. i have no idea. i’ve been treating their conversations as off-limits. perhaps when we have The Talk, i.e. the final talk, he’ll mention his therapy. at any rate, i haven’t noticed any significant changes in his modus operandi.

]]> Comment on part 2 of ‘post from a wedding weekend’ by pt http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/2008/07/15/part-2-of-post-from-a-wedding-weekend/#comment-7789 pt Tue, 15 Jul 2008 03:48:24 +0000 http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/?p=486#comment-7789 Mimi, I don't think PlanC is as thoughtful, meaning "full of thought," as you are. Ergo, his statement about shooting him if he is so long-winded at the wedding a year hence is a statement about the poor guy's long-windedness. It has nothing to do with whether you and PlanC will be at the wedding together. NOTHING. And, it seems he got caught up in the mood of his favorite song, and saying "I love you" was a momentary thing. It's more significant to say that in times of trouble than when you're at a lively social event with a romantic mood and romantic song. A little tale: I knew a guy who married at a venue that his wife chose. He wanted the place that was a little less scenic but had better food; she wanted the place that was pretty and gardenesque, but had worse food. (The food really sucked, by the way.) The marriage was troubled from the get-go. Two years later, neither is sure it will last, or should last. But I don't know whether that has to do with the sucky food or the making of bad choices, only one of which involved food. Mimi, I don’t think PlanC is as thoughtful, meaning “full of thought,” as you are. Ergo, his statement about shooting him if he is so long-winded at the wedding a year hence is a statement about the poor guy’s long-windedness. It has nothing to do with whether you and PlanC will be at the wedding together. NOTHING.

And, it seems he got caught up in the mood of his favorite song, and saying “I love you” was a momentary thing. It’s more significant to say that in times of trouble than when you’re at a lively social event with a romantic mood and romantic song.

A little tale:
I knew a guy who married at a venue that his wife chose. He wanted the place that was a little less scenic but had better food; she wanted the place that was pretty and gardenesque, but had worse food. (The food really sucked, by the way.) The marriage was troubled from the get-go. Two years later, neither is sure it will last, or should last. But I don’t know whether that has to do with the sucky food or the making of bad choices, only one of which involved food.

]]> Comment on part 2 of ‘post from a wedding weekend’ by TakenGirl http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/2008/07/15/part-2-of-post-from-a-wedding-weekend/#comment-7788 TakenGirl Tue, 15 Jul 2008 03:41:12 +0000 http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/?p=486#comment-7788 Mimi, you are too hilarious! I love your "wide-eyed questions!" Anyways, Plan C is just exhausting! He really can't make up his mind, can he? Has he discussed any of his recent issues with his psychiatrist/psychologist yet? Even though you've already made up your mind about the situation, he really needs to get himself sorted out so that he can be a good partner in the future. Good to see you have such a fantastic attitude about the situation though, I know I would be a wreck if I were you! Glad you had a great time dancing too! Mimi, you are too hilarious! I love your “wide-eyed questions!” Anyways, Plan C is just exhausting! He really can’t make up his mind, can he? Has he discussed any of his recent issues with his psychiatrist/psychologist yet? Even though you’ve already made up your mind about the situation, he really needs to get himself sorted out so that he can be a good partner in the future. Good to see you have such a fantastic attitude about the situation though, I know I would be a wreck if I were you! Glad you had a great time dancing too!

]]> Comment on post from a wedding weekend, part 1 by sexagenarian07 http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/2008/07/12/post-from-a-wedding-weekend-part-1/#comment-7787 sexagenarian07 Mon, 14 Jul 2008 05:34:53 +0000 http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/?p=485#comment-7787 well, juliette, the beginning of the romance was in FEBRUARY, so there wa no golfing them! the romance weakened as the days grew longer & warmer and the appeal of golf was irresistible; and my appeal, apparently, resistable! oh gosh, dt, i don't think i want that purple heart! but i have LOTS of material for wedding stuff, part 2. however, it's 1:33 a.m. and i just got back home from the rockies, so more tomorrow. well, juliette, the beginning of the romance was in FEBRUARY, so there wa no golfing them! the romance weakened as the days grew longer & warmer and the appeal of golf was irresistible; and my appeal, apparently, resistable!

oh gosh, dt, i don’t think i want that purple heart! but i have LOTS of material for wedding stuff, part 2. however, it’s 1:33 a.m. and i just got back home from the rockies, so more tomorrow.

]]> Comment on post from a wedding weekend, part 1 by Dating Trooper http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/2008/07/12/post-from-a-wedding-weekend-part-1/#comment-7786 Dating Trooper Mon, 14 Jul 2008 05:20:38 +0000 http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/?p=485#comment-7786 Terrific post. I think you should get the purple heart of dating warfare as far as I'm concerned. What a strange situation to be in. But beautiful observations. I hope you are finding the experience worthwhile. At the very least for closure - and material. Terrific post. I think you should get the purple heart of dating warfare as far as I’m concerned. What a strange situation to be in. But beautiful observations. I hope you are finding the experience worthwhile. At the very least for closure - and material.

]]> Comment on post from a wedding weekend, part 1 by *Juliette* http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/2008/07/12/post-from-a-wedding-weekend-part-1/#comment-7785 *Juliette* Sun, 13 Jul 2008 03:53:30 +0000 http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/?p=485#comment-7785 Mimi, I'm glad your foot improved enough so that you were able go on this trip. Question - at the beginning of the romance, would an early tee time have stopped him from making love to you? Interesting images in this post. Mimi, I’m glad your foot improved enough so that you were able go on this trip. Question - at the beginning of the romance, would an early tee time have stopped him from making love to you? Interesting images in this post.

]]> Comment on preparing for the end (the end of a romance) by sexagenarian07 http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/2008/07/06/preparing-for-the-end-the-end-of-a-romance/#comment-7784 sexagenarian07 Wed, 09 Jul 2008 22:32:41 +0000 http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/?p=478#comment-7784 well, it sounds as if you are very self-consciously working on relationships, which is good. i don't believe that plan c is, but i guess i'll find out whenever we have that final Talk. in the meantime, of course i've got lots of theories about him! well, it sounds as if you are very self-consciously working on relationships, which is good. i don’t believe that plan c is, but i guess i’ll find out whenever we have that final Talk. in the meantime, of course i’ve got lots of theories about him!

]]> Comment on preparing for the end (the end of a romance) by Sonny_Amou http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/2008/07/06/preparing-for-the-end-the-end-of-a-romance/#comment-7783 Sonny_Amou Wed, 09 Jul 2008 18:00:46 +0000 http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/?p=478#comment-7783 Well, if anything, the part about giving him parting advice is sound, esp. the stuff about passing on the previous wife's jewelry. I actually perked up a bit at that point because it relates to a situation I'm watching from the sidelines now. The objects involved are slightly different, but the general premise is the same. Speaking as a guy, a lot of the ways I've improved was either (a) getting suggestions about what I shouldn't do in the future or (b) taking stock of my own self after such breakups and figuring out if I was unreasonable in such circumstances. It's a personal thing with me, since my old man is extroardinarily stubborn, doesn't listen to anyone, and I'm keen on not repeating that personality trait with Charlotte. Anyhow, again, good luck to you from the other side of the rock. Cheers, S.Amou Well, if anything, the part about giving him parting advice is sound, esp. the stuff about passing on the previous wife’s jewelry. I actually perked up a bit at that point because it relates to a situation I’m watching from the sidelines now. The objects involved are slightly different, but the general premise is the same.

Speaking as a guy, a lot of the ways I’ve improved was either (a) getting suggestions about what I shouldn’t do in the future or (b) taking stock of my own self after such breakups and figuring out if I was unreasonable in such circumstances. It’s a personal thing with me, since my old man is extroardinarily stubborn, doesn’t listen to anyone, and I’m keen on not repeating that personality trait with Charlotte.

Anyhow, again, good luck to you from the other side of the rock.

Cheers,
S.Amou

]]> Comment on preparing for the end (the end of a romance) by sexagenarian07 http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/2008/07/06/preparing-for-the-end-the-end-of-a-romance/#comment-7782 sexagenarian07 Mon, 07 Jul 2008 23:09:30 +0000 http://sexagenarian07.wordpress.com/?p=478#comment-7782 actually, the terry robe he bought for me is much nicer than the clogs [my second-string bedroom slippers...] i left there. am sure i'll get it all back, one way or another, even the shower cap. actually, the terry robe he bought for me is much nicer than the clogs [my second-string bedroom slippers...] i left there. am sure i’ll get it all back, one way or another,
even the shower cap.

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