the ‘Dear John’ letters

May 31, 2009

1.

Hi Dave, thanks so much for writing. Very thoughtful of you.

Well, I could say, who left the economy in better condition, Clinton or W?! seems pretty clear which party has the stronger fiscal policy. Obama is stuck with doing damage control on the mess the Republicans left.

Okay, well, I don’t want to get into a political argument with anyone, let alone someone I haven’t met! It’s interesting that your opinions on social issues, which are so important to me, are quite similar to mine, while yr opinions on economic policy and foreign policy are so dif.

I have to say it: I really could not date a McCain voter. Now, if you were my next-door neighbor, we could joke about it and kid one another. But for someone I might, potentially, become very close to and spend a lot of time with, I know I couldn’t take it.

Many people assume that it’s only religion about which people feel so strongly, but unless it has political implications, I don’t care what religion a date practices or whether he has one at all. But politics matter a lot to me, and I find that ultimately I have very little (if anything) in common with people who voted for McCain.

I really appreciate your taking the time to write me at such length and so honestly about yr views, which of course I take seriously.

Thank you again and all the best,
Mimi

2.
Hello Steve,
I need to tell you that I will soon be taking my profile down, because I am going to be dating — exclusively — a man I’ve been dating for about a month now. So you and I will not be meeting next week, but thank you very much for asking me out.
All the best to you,
Mimi

3.
Good morning Charles,

Well — between when I wrote you yesterday & right now, my life has changed.

I’ve been dating several men during the month of may, with 2 of them gradually losing interest in me & vice versa, but last night the remaining man made it clear that he wanted to date me ‘exclusively,’ and I feel that’s what I want too, so I’ve taken my profile down from jdate (and from match, where it also was).

So I’m sorry I’ll never get to meet you, because you sounded great, but I’m glad to be spending more time with my friend of the last month. Truly, any bachelor in New York has a lot of choices, because the demographics are in yr favor. That sounds like a crude way of saying what can be said more delicately, namely, that I feel certain someone as eligible as you seem will have good luck in the long run in finding a woman to love.

With best wishes,
Mimi

4.
Good morning Louis, I hope you’re well and enjoying the spring in Bernardsville. Did you see in the paper where Obama & Michelle ate dinner last night? They were in a restaurant at 6th avenue & w. 4th st, right near where we were wandering around.

So Louis, I have to tell you some news that will probably make you a bit sad. During the month of may I have been dating several men and enjoying myself a lot (and wondering where all these guys were in February, which was a very boring month for me from the social point of view). — Last night one of the men made it clear that he already considered himself to be ‘dating’ me and was not dating anyone else, and that he hoped I would not date anyone else. We discussed this subject for a long time, and I feel that I would like to date him exclusively and see how things go.

So I will not be dating anyone else and will be hoping this new relationship will work. — I’m really sorry I won’t get to know you better, because you’re terrific — good-looking, smart, polite, fun to spend time with — but alas for the timing! It’s really the case, the men all come out of the woodwork in May….

I have to say, the demographics are in yr favor, and in the favor of any eligible bachelor in the ny area. As you know from the 100s of profiles that you said come up in your search, there are so many more women than men available for dates & relationships. I know it’s daunting to attempt to get beyond the profile of any of those 100s /1000s of women, but truly, you are among the more eligible men I’ve met, and most of those women are dying for a date. I know because I’ve talked to a lot of them!

So I wanted to thank you very much for the two singularly pleasant evenings I had with you ( oh and No, by the way, this is not happening because I paid the tip friday night!! I always offer to pay my share or a share, and sooner or later most men accept) and to wish you well and to say if you ever send an email my direction, I’ll answer. — But truly, keep looking at those profiles, because there are probably quite a lot who would be a ‘good fit’ for you!

With all best wishes and thanks again,
Mimi

5.
Dear Nick,

Those are terrific book reviews. I really enjoyed them a lot.

However, now I have to tell you what happened last night. — I live in Manhattan, as you know, and for the past month I’ve been dating several men. — I was losing interest in 2 of them (and vice versa, no doubt), but last night the one I was _not_ losing interest in made it clear that he wanted to date me exclusively. I began to realize that I felt the same way and wanted to give that a try. At age 62, with two divorces behind me (one of them 30 years ago…), maybe I could get something right for once? Well, there was only one way to see. — and so I’m going to give that a whirl and hope it works out. He and I will both be taking our profiles down soon.

– Most of the men in my Inbox are obviously idiots (they write things like YOU ARE ADORABLE!!!!), but you’re in a special category. That’s why I wrote you after viewing you in my ‘viewed’ list, even though you live in Boston. — Now, if this new relationship doesn’t work, I have yr ‘real’ email address and might write you, but in all honesty I hope it does work.

– However, you should know that the *several thousand* or so manhattan women of an age for you to be interested in are probably, like me, beset by idiots on match most of the time, so you should think seriously about the availability of eligible women in nyc. —— But you probably already are, hence yr viewing of my profile. ——– So thank you very much for yr wonderful, sparkling, literate messages. And go for the Manhattan women, because they will be grateful for intelligent attention. All the best, Mimi

6.
Dear Healthyman, thank you for yr charming letter. However, I am about to take my profile down — within a day or so — because a man I’ve been dating and I have decided to date one another exclusively. All best wishes, Funky Sexagenarian

* * *

Confirmation of membership cancellation
FunkySexagenarian , we’re truly sorry to see you go. We hope you’ve been successful in your search for a match. Your membership has been resigned and your account has been deactivated.
You can reactivate your account at any time.

* * *

Explore posts in the same categories: Uncategorized