Comments on: gifts men have given me

By: cobalt_00

cobalt_00 — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 00:46:48 +0000

Wow. Your father’s a jerk. Sorry, but he is.
I admit that I’m unnerved too by excessive gift-giving, but it seems to be part of his nature. I think tentatively you could go along with it… so long as there’s less of the dead-wife-jewelry thing going on. That was pretty weird - though I think you handled it gracefully.

By: sexagenarian07

sexagenarian07 — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 05:15:42 +0000

that’s a good idea. we’re going in late june to the same ‘european capital’ that i blogged from last summer, so i might treat him to something nice over there. that might work for us…. he’s too well-dressed already for me to give him clothes, and he would see a book as an ‘assignment,’ so the conventional options are few. i’m still thinking….

By: Loverville

Loverville — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 04:04:28 +0000

Here’s an idea for his birthday: again, rather than buying an actual present, how about planning and surprising him with a romantic weekend away together?

My ex of 4 years (ages ago) and I rarely got each other actual presents, but would surprise each other with long weekends away for the other’s birthday: Quebec, hot air ballooning in Lake George, Martha’s Vineyard, the Berkshires, Vermont… It especially worked out well that his birthday was in the summer and mine is in the fall, so the little trips would be quite different from one another.

By: sexagenarian07

sexagenarian07 — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 21:46:34 +0000

melissa, it certainly sounds as if our reactions to our fathers are quite similar. i still feel a bit angry at his ‘glad you went first class all the way’ comment, when we were so careful…
but as you say also, i’ve perhaps gone to the other extreme now.

now i must confess: i don’t know what a ‘facial’ is! what planet have i been living on??
i’ll have to look it up online. and the ‘chair’ thing sounds interesting… what i picture is a writhing chair w. me sitting in /holding on to it, but i bet that’s not quite what it is. i’ll have to be a bit adventurous so i can report back here…

By: Melissa

Melissa — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 21:36:47 +0000

I didn’t know my father and only met him three times in my life and I can tell you honestly that each time I wanted something from him to show me he cared. And since he couldn’t do it emotionally, I ended up wanting things. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized material gifts were no match for the emotional ones and in some ways I’ve gone to the the extreme, becoming really annoyed with the gift-giving seasons altogether and preferring instead just to spend time with loved ones. But I digress…

Re. massages, pedicures are wonderful since they involve actual foot and calf-rubbing which is so nice. As for massage, if you’re uncomfortable with being naked, many salons have a 15 minute clothed “Chair” massage where they work on your upper back and shoulders — a nice intro. There are probably so many wonderful services for you to try. May I suggest you travel just a teensy-bit outside of your comfort zone while you have the opportunity. Perhaps a facial? Let the spa know your comfort-level and then have them recommend certain options.

Whatever you decide, Enjoy!!

By: sexagenarian07

sexagenarian07 — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 01:05:59 +0000

well i’ve only worn that necklace once; fortunately it fit and looked good on me.
and yes, i want to interview him about his dating life….hope to do it next wkend and
present on the blog. he has had a lot of ‘experience.’

By: Young at Heart in San Diego

Young at Heart in San Diego — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 00:58:26 +0000

Mimi,
I love Plan C more and more with each post. After my recent disaster, a generous man sounds very charming to me. I agree that you might as well try to get used to his gifts; for him they may be another way of displaying his affection for you and it must give him pleasure to do so. Who wants to discourage that (Although the necklace that was his deceased wife’s would have been very awkward for me too)? 84 dates?…wow. Can’t wait to hear that story!

By: sexagenarian07

sexagenarian07 — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 05:51:22 +0000

‘besotted’ — !! well, i like to think he’s not entirely irrational in loving me, but who am i to say?

a good idea — maybe i’ll write him a poem. but i would like to get him something else. still thinking about that…

By: Altissima

Altissima — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 05:32:33 +0000

With regard to what you are going to gife Plan C for his birthday - May i suggest a gift that is not a purchased item? Then there can be no comparison or competition based on the cost of the item in dollar terms. I think you are an artist or writer of some sort (even if you are not)-is there something you can create yourself that would make a suitable present. As Plan C is very sentimental,perhaps something celebrating your relationship or illustrating how your lives have combined would be appreciated. Poem, painting, quilt, sculpture… it wouldn’t matter what. A thoughtful give that demonstrates how much you care for him, needn’t cost much in dollars at all.
Also may a counsel you not to discourage him too strongly from giving you gifts if he chooses? Enjoy them and accept them for the pleasure it gives him to demonstrate how besotted with you he is.