serious googling: TMI about my dates — i google them, they google me; and what i found when i googled the octogenarian…

We all google our dates, and many of them google us. It’s astonishing (and horrifying) how much info is available, right there on the web, through serious, i.e. diligent research, without paying any money for searches or having to log-in to any closed sites. The info is just sitting there. Here’s how I got TMI about a few dates, just going from the most minimal information they themselves gave me: first name and last name, or first name and landline.

ROLLY

peoplefinders.com
with only Rolly’s first and last names, peoplefinders gave 1) his true age; 2) his children’s names & ages; 3) ditto for his second ex-wife, including her second-marriage last name

ergo I could find his daughter’s website & see several photographs of her (she looks exactly like Rolly; the pictures of her look more like him than his jdate photo does…), her CV, and her paintings, which are beautiful; her CV told me where she went to high school and to college; I could also find, truly TMI, reviews of the plays she acted in as an undergraduate

could also find his second ex-wife’s husband with this info, and have seen photos of him (he looks not unlike a Non-bohemian Rolly) and know all about his professional & political career

could also find out what his second ex-wife has been doing with her skills & talents in the city where she and her second husband live

and because his number is a listed one, I could also find his home address and phone number

birthdatabase.com
gave me his birthday, so I could get his age exactly. All you need is a couple (not even all) of the following: first name, last name, city and state, probable age.

amazon.com
plugged in his name and found the title of his first novel

NYT archives before 1980
found the review of that novel (not a very good review, unfortunately). These archives are available through the NYT website at nytimes.com

found the announcement of his engagement to his second wife in 1966; this was a treasure trove of info: it had a lovely, glamorous, youthful photo of her, so finally I could find out what she looked like (and that she was a debutante!! — but not in ny); it had her parents’ names (googling her mother, I learned that the mother just died recently at a very old age); and it had the name of Rolly’s university (which I already knew, from him) and the names of the clubs he belonged to there (which I didn’t know, and which were illuminating about him); it also told me where second ex-wife worked when she got engaged to Rolly, so it was easy to figure out how they met (he had once mentioned working in that organization); also told me where they got married. It was amazing to think of R surrounded by such conventional circumstances, a debutante wife and a formal wedding, but then, that was 41 years ago, almost half a century.

peoplefinders.com
plugged in the name of Rolly’s son and found name of the son’s wife

google.com
put in the daughter-in-law’s name and found out what branch of her profession she worked in (I already knew, from Rolly himself, where the son worked)

No wonder Rolly said to me, You know more about me than I know about myself. And that was long before I did much of this research…

MAN 1

He didn’t give me his last name, but he gave me his landline.

google
put in his phone number and got his complete name and address

google again
put in his name and found out lots of professional ventures he has been involved in

peoplefinders.com
got his age (he was entirely truthful about it) and the names of his two (adult) children, as well as his mother’s name, although she’s no longer alive

google
found his younger child’s Friendster page

found much about his older child (who is famous in his profession), including a long autobiographical piece in which he mentions his father (very affectionately)

found much about his mother, who is well-known because of certain historical events she got caught up in

found organizations he had given money to in memory of his mother

NYT archives before 1980
found his father’s obituary, ergo learned that he was very young when his father died, and that he has no siblings; also found out, though now I can’t remember how, what part of NY he grew up in

YELLOW-TIE

peoplefinders.com
with his first name and last name, found names of his two adult children

google
found photo of his son on the son’s business’s web site; found more photos of son, daughter-in-law, and their new baby on the son’s high-school reunion web pages

peoplefinders.com again
put in his daughter’s name and found name of her husband

google
found the professional backgrounds of Yellow-Tie’s daughter and son-in-law

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And so on.

THEY GOOGLE ME, TOO, OF COURSE

Geeky man from last week, to whom I spoke on the phone but whom I will never meet, not if I have any say in it, and I sure do, was googling me as we spoke and reading the google-hits aloud to me. Quel enormous bore!

Rolly googled me once and read my NYT wedding write-up.

Man 1 had my first name and knew generally what I did professionally; he put all that info into Google and came up with my last name and much other info, all leading him to wonder if we were appropriate for one another! When and if we meet, please God, that question can be answered.

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And now, just so I can procrastinate a bit more, it’s time for me to do serious googling on Shortz, with whom I have a date one of these next few days.

God only knows what I’ll find, except that it will be TMI.

VERY INTERESTING UPDATE!
Just did some very simple research about the octogenarian mentioned in the previous post. He is not 80, as advertised….he is 85, just a year younger than my mother. I think the pool is not going to get quite that wide!! So now my question is, do I email him and let the poor guy know I caught him lying, or do I just neglect to call him and fail to write back, or — what?

Hardly a major issue.

Googled Shortz and found out he is very well known in his profession; many NYT hits, in fact a level of visibility that might even be called minor fame.

Poor Octo! If peoplefinders is right, he has a daughter older than I am. I’m vacillating about whether or not to tell him what I’ve found out but think I’d rather spare him the embarrassment. The message I’m considering sending is, Dear [name], Sorry I won’t be able to call, but Happy Father’s Day to you. Mimi. Short and sweet and uninformative.
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